FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
Q: When do I need to have these discussions with my family?
It’s best to have these conversations sooner rather than later so that you and your family can make the right choice. These are difficult discussions to have but they are essential to keep your family safe.
Q: What are some of the warning signs that I should be aware of?
Some early warning signs include forgetting to do little things around the house - like forgetting to turning off lights or water faucets, leaving doors unlocked or windows open, or leaving on the TV. These can progress into serious concerns, like forgetting to turn off ovens, stoves or irons or leaving cars running in garages. If you notice any of these signs - or anything else that worries you - it’s time to think about ways to improve safety in the home.
Q: When should I consider having a discussion with the person with dementia not living by themselves anymore? What different housing options are available to them?
It can be hard for a person with cognitive impairment or dementia to recognize they aren’t acting safe and sometimes it’s hard for family members to spot as well. Sometimes it takes other people, like friends or doctors, to point out these changes. If others have started to recommend the person with dementia not live by themselves anymore, it’s probably time to start thinking about some options. These could include moving in with some else (like family or friends), moving to a senior living community or an assisted living facility.
Q: I am not very mobile. Can these adjustments be completed by others?
Yes! There are organizations, contractors, and groups that can assist you or others with making these changes. Many of the changes can be completed by almost everyone and without special technical knowledge (such as moving furniture, or installing rugs) while others may require some specialized assistance (like installing handles in showers or auto shut-off valves on the oven/stove). Depending on the adjustment, these changes could be handled by electricians, plumbers, or even every-day handymen. Contacting a social worker or your local United Way can help you get some assistance in these matters.
Q: The person with dementia lives with me - are there middle-ground solutions that wouldn’t restrict my use of the house?
Yes. These are important conversations to have as a family - talking with the people in the house can help them understand the best ways to keep the person with dementia safe. You might start with some small changes, such as supervising access to certain areas of the house. Over time, however, you may implement bigger changes to the home. Some of the solutions, like door locks, may prevent the person with dementia from wandering away but should be a problem for you to use. Other solutions, such as access to a car, will require teamwork and communication by all in the house.
Q: My partner is the one with dementia - they still think that they’re behaving just fine but I’m concerned about them. What should I say or do?
We all care about our partners and communicating that you care is the best way to bring up your worries. We can still respect their independence and abilities while also making an effort to show them that we care about their safety. Talk about instances where you’ve been afraid they were being unsafe and suggest solutions that would make you feel safer and happier. Understand their perspectives and find a solution that creates a safe environment for everyone in the home.
Q: Who else can help me make these decisions?
Close family members and friends can offer emotional support, assistance, and insight into making tough decisions like this. Healthcare professionals, financial planners, and care providers can also help during this stage of life by working with you and your family to find the best way to approach this change in life. For legal matters, the National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys has a resource available if you’d like to view some legal representatives in your state for assistance. There are also many regional and local caregiver resources and support groups found around the country through the Alzheimer’s Association.